If Jarryl saw what time this entry's being posted, he'll probably feel a twinge of disappointment, or mayb not. He was being such a sweetheart, staying up with me until I finish my script for my podcast. But I ended up procrastinating, like I always do. I'm sorry, Jaja. I'll beckon to bed the moment I'm done with this. And thank you.

I don't know what's the matter with me these days. I need to push myself to work. I hate the fact that I burn out real quick like a fucking low quality zippo twig. Ok, so mayb that analogy didn't make much sense. I'm not that much of a smoker as u can gather. And if u are my friend, don't even think about rebutting that point I just made about myself. I will merajok.

So, Maroon 5's new CD's quite the bomb. Perfectly emo songs which match my perfectly emo disposition quite perfectly. Actually, describing my mood in such absolute terms isn't most accurate because I'm quite done being emotionally drawn. I just feel quite .. blank. Tired. Weighted down by the pressure of work and by my sub-conscious, telling myself to buck up and get that bloody A grade. Of which I need quite badly. Seeing how horribly I did last semester (thanks to my tendancy of getting too emotionally involved in matters not concerning academics), I need a fairly good grade this sem to pull up my GPA. Especially if I want to get anywhere worth my while.

Sometimes, I quite badly wish I knew what my future is like. Whether I'll carve my life around my career or around a family. Or will I even have a family considering the amount of faith I've lost in men. I suppose bad experiences are just all part and parcel of life, and it doesn't matter how old u are when u're going thru it, all that matters is that u learn from it and start to make wiser choices. Or mayb just build a wall around your heart and never ever ever let it down ever again.

My fatigue speaks. Forgive the blabber and don't be mistakened, I'm not emo, just really worn out.